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The Ownership of Your Story

The fear is, what if they get to know me, the real me, and they don’t like what they find?

What if the mistakes I’ve made haunt me like a trail of ghosts?

What if my humanness, the messiness, and the clumsiness show?

The fear is… 

What if I’m not enough?

But the secret is you, just as you are, just as you are becoming, is the name we long to see in lights.

You don’t need to shrink yourself down or stay small. 

Imagine yourself on a stage.

I want you to call up the feeling in your body of being invited out onto a TedTalk.

Or Oprah’s couch. 

Or maybe your book signing tour. 

That one big dream moment for you. 

And imagine you’re being introduced as the go-to person, or the expert, or teacher who is just leading the thought and conversation about what you care about. 

When I do this exercise, I imagine coming out on a stage and getting asked to talk about intimacy or healing from sexual assault. 

And I want you to call out that feeling that you are there because they want to hear you talk about this idea that is important to you.

They are all there to listen to what you have to say. 

That image may change and shift as you start narrowing down what you love to talk about. 

As you grow, you may be out-growing, too.

Sometimes it takes years of refinement to narrow it down. 

That feeling that ‘I’m the best at this” is the feeling we really want to start tapping into. 

If you were the person that everyone knew, and they send people to you because that is what you are the go-to person for. 

And even if you’re still unclear about what that is, that isn’t important. 

It’s the feeling that you are essential, what you have to say matters, and your thoughts are worthy that is important. 

From that place of just really centering around your ownership over your story, 

your gifts, 

your thoughts,

and your leadership. 

This sense of claiming. 

“I am so needed.”

“I’m so desired.”

“I am an important part of this conversation.”

That feeling is one I want you to start experimenting with inside of your daily practice. 


Intimacy is the missing ingredient in your leadership.

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