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Intimacy And The Sensual Revolution

I want to talk about the concept of the sensual revolution. So many of us have probably heard of the sexual revolution which obviously sounds fun. But what I want to add in is the concept of the sensual revolution and it first and foremost has to do with coming back to our senses.

Finding My Pleasure

When I began my uncovering, it felt like I’d busted open a shell that had been blocking my senses. A shell I didn’t even know was there. I had this idea that being connected to pleasure was bad somehow. No one in the church ever really said that but reading between the lines, I believed the part of me that craved beauty, pleasure, sex, good food and all these beautiful things was essentially “bad”.  I believed I wasn’t a good Christian girl if I liked those things. For example, buying that $300 dress at Anthropologie. Going out to dinner by yourself. Drinking wine. Flying to Paris for your birthday. That was all off-limits.  

But the minute I got divorced, I started inviting and pleasure. I started painting my nails. I started wearing earrings. I started wandering down like the beautiful walk home instead of the fastest way home, I would let myself linger over coffee in the morning. Everything from completely free stuff like wandering through a used bookstore with like no time limit or noticing the flowers that were blooming outside all the way to some things that, for me at the time, felt extravagant, like buying a really nice olive oil from the little Greek store in my neighborhood. It was this process of engaging my senses but in a completely different way than how my friends at church wanted me to.

Giving Yourself Permission

It might feel like there is a superficial layer to all of this but I want you to just allow those thoughts to be there. It’s completely fine to think “Oh, why would I do this?”.  Look underneath that. Is there any possibility that you just have a narrative that you are not allowed to have it? That you’re not good enough for it. Or that it’s “bad”. If you do feel like that, I wonder if you can just meet that voice with compassion. Honor why it’s there. Then ask yourself: what if you were allowed to have more than enough? Love more than enough? Have enough pleasure? What would life feel like? Who would you be? This is actually the work of getting our intimacy and alignment of letting our senses be part of guiding us home. It’s part of guiding us toward vulnerability and connection.

This is the sensual revolution. We are part of this wave of unleashed women. Of women who are connected to what we want and needs. Connecting to our healing to ourselves. We become this new standard. The example. We teach our daughters and sons, our partners, our husbands, and our friends that it's safe to feel. It's safe to go through your life and feel everything. Trust yourself. You can feel the good and the bad. You can feel the beautiful and the painful. You see beauty and magic in those moments. And you embrace them.

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