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Healing After Trauma (part 2)

So the first step, actually for this workshop on continuing to show up is to really fall into that sense that this work is about so much more than just you being able to tolerate, or not, like a life that doesn't light you up or sex that you don't enjoy, or a relationship that feels stale. It is not just about you, it's actually about all of us, all of us doing the work of up leveling in this way and thinking about what healing would really look like. 

The second piece is really going back to that meditation in the beginning and connecting with which parts of you need that love and attention. What version of you is calling out for that? And she may have more to reveal to you than you even realize about maybe a past relationship or a situation.

Going back to some of these moments to give your past self a chance to be like, yeah, actually I've been holding onto this and it's made it really hard, especially if what you're noticing is coming up for you right now, isn't necessarily super clear. Like a lot of my clients will say that they're just no longer interested in sex with their partners, especially if they've been married for a long time or their partners have like over the years done, like a number of things that have either hurt their feelings or they've dropped the ball, you know, in different ways. 

And that is so, so common. It can feel so easy to be say, I don't want to have sex with you because you did all this stuff and he let me down and I'm exhausted because I've had to pick up all the slack. There's usually also more, and that's really where the work of uncovering or working with me or working with another coach.

I've got so many recommendations, it can be so helpful to have someone else holding the space to be like, what else though? What else is under there? What is showing up now? How do you actually want to be feeling what would actually make you feel sexy? And honestly, what happens a lot is that this is just finally the moment in a marriage or a long term relationship where this client, or, you know, where a woman is no longer interested in pretending she, I'm not going to fake it and all the different ways that that might mean. 

Showing Up Bravely

 Sometimes it can be really destabilizing if for so long, there's been a dynamic of, I need to show up and seem perfect and seem like everything's okay. When it starts to finally be okay, you're not going anywhere. My confidence is higher. I'm killing it in my career or anything like that. And we're not willing to keep pretending it can just throw everything off. It's also where hurt from the past can start to really creep in and to be like almost insurmountable if we don't know how to hold it.

So showing up bravely, even if you've been hurt is really just about allowing yourself to speak to those versions of you, see what they had to say, maybe even journal about it and let that come back out. Then the third piece is just being willing to meet that head on and say, I'm not going to leave you behind. 

There is a space for you here. And that can be where it's really helpful to call in support. If that's you, I am here for you. And so is this whole community because it really is helpful for those parts of our memory, body, and mind to just be told you aren't going to be silenced.

That's really wearing, to see so many breakthroughs coming in where people reconnect with partners that they haven't wanted to be with them a long time, or they find new ones who they really liked a lot more or mostly just that they reconnect to themselves and all the pieces. All of those women who are in line behind us, you know, really just being able to tend to them and to support all of that.

I'm so happy that you are willing to do that work and that I am willing to do that work because the more we do it for ourselves, the more we're creating a culture where this is more well. I'm so happy to answer any questions that you have about that. Whether that's in the comments here or later, or if you want to just send me a message, I just love it.


Intimacy is the missing ingredient in your leadership.